news vs. no news

So....today i was having a conversation with a friend and realized that there are people in this world who would prefer not to watch the evening news, or any news for that matter.

i was shocked and amazed as i am a news fan myself and never really contemplated that there is a whole section of society that would do anything to avoid watching something that i need to see atleast every morning or evening.

the point of view of the non-news watcher was that it simply made them feel helpless. there were all these things happening in the world that they had no control over and there was very little they could do to help.

to this i thought...oh my god, am i a terrible voyeur? or just someone that buys into the camp of "knowledge is power".

if i do not watch the news, i feel disconnected to the world around me....on the other hand my non news watching friend mentioned that she feels disconnected if she watches the news.

i am sure that there is some deep physcological meaning behind all of this business....which i will not bother to dwell on as we are what we are....news or no news

p.s.....side note on NEWS..a trivia fact that i have not really checked out, but thought it sounded interesting...did you know that the word NEWS was derived from the points on a compass, meaning they needed a title for a program that covered all areas and some brilliant person thought North, East, West, South......true or false...sounds pretty cool either way

light up the sky

the season has finally arrived....

i have heard rumors that my friends that live in the countryside have had their first siting weeks ago and i have been waiting for the summer arrival of my favorite illuminated bug..

the firefly or lighting bug (depending on where you are from)

a summer occurance that escaped me my first 7 years of my life and i can still remember the wonder of seeing them for the first time.

it was way back when i was about seven and my family was making a quite tramatic move from california (land of sun and beaches) to tennessee (land of muddy rivers and tornadoes) via a stop at my grandparents house in new jersey. that summer we came to stay with them was the first time that i had seen fireflies. my sister and i made our way out into the yard and in the tradition of all little kids proceeded to catch these little buggers in mason jars filled with grass.

foolishly we though our mason jar "bio dome" would be a great place for these bugs that did not bite! so we kept them and sadly by morning they were no more.....lights out :(

the next night we were a little more experienced and had learned the valuable lesson that some things are better left to watch instead of capturing. we now knew that nature could take care of its own and the fireflies were a gift for us to enjoy for a brief time and then wait in anticipation for their return the following year.

i think that is one of the things that made the move to tennessee bearable....my mom assured us that there would be fireflies and there were.....of course as i found out when i moved there, there was also elvis, mud island and the peabody hotel. these fascinating places never quite replaced a life beachside, but it sure helped keep a kid amused.

i am a girl!

so after spending that last few weeks roaming around in grubby work clothes the time has come to bring out the girlness...

i work as a production designer (set designer for film) in a predominately male work environment that keeps you on the run all day long. this is a job that requires that i never wear a skirt to work, always wear sneakers, jeans with the random spatter of paint and some sort of comfortable, breathable shirt, and a leather belt that has my handy dandy leatherman tool attached to it and the occasional baseball cap to keep the sun out of my eyes or the sweat off my face! by the end of the average day, i am not surprised to find paint stuck under my fingernails or spray glue stuck all over my hand and the addition of new paint spatters or random pieces of gaff tape stuck to my shoes or pants.

image of beauty...right?

well after many weeks living in this quite practical but not so fashionable attire, i relish the idea of the wrap party. a chance to remind everyone (including myself) that i am girl always makes me feel better. maybe a dress, a little make up, shoes that don't lace up, something with a little sparkle! the perfect prescription to retire those work clothes for a few days and let my other half shine.

withdrawal.........

today was the official wrap of the film that i have been working on. yes, we are done shooting and there is to be a great party tonight, but at this moment i can feel the onset of what i seem to experience after every creative process....the withdrawal period.

yes, i know that makes it seem like i am trying to kick a drug or smoking habit but that is the best way that i can think of how to explain what in the next few days will be the underlying sadness that comes with the realization that this project is moving out of my life.

imagine working on something since february, yes i am not kidding...i have been working with the director and director of photography since february to get this film underway. we have spent that last 18 days shooting with an average of 15 hours together during the day. we work together, we eat together, we drink together, and then with the final shot done we each go our separate ways for the next hit of work.

where i find the work incredibly rewarding and i love the highs of it all, i have to say that this is my least favorite part. these people that have been your living breathing life for the better half of a month are now not part of your physical everyday routine. sure you can call, go have drinks, go to the movies----but secretly i wish that i could just have a few days off and then start working with them all again.

the saving grace is that i know that i will see them all again. i have yet to be on a film shoot where i was not working with someone that i had worked with before. so knowing that makes it a little easier.

so as i drift off to sleep and then awake to prepare for the party this evening, i do it with a lot of satisfaction of a job well done but also that little tug at my heart knowing that tomorrow will be the beginning of a new cycle.

bar room etiquette

fortunately for the entire film crew, there is a very nice bar at the end of the street that we are shooting on. we are lucky for the beer, but also lucky because they let us use their bathroom.

while waiting in the not so long line for the restroom (only 4 girls total on the shoot compared to the 15 guys!) i watched the various activities of the couples in the bar and came to this interesting observation...

did you ever notice that men are more than willing to go to the bar to order the drinks for their dates. did you ever ponder why?

possible reasons (in the order of likelyhood of being true)

#1 the boyfriend, potential boyfriend or date does not want the girlfriend, potential girlfrend or date having the perfect social chance to meet another man in the midst of their date. being that most bartenders are cute and have some sort of personality, having the girl order the drink has the potential of being disasterous...especially in a blind date situation.

#2 by being the one that orders the drinks, the guy can make sure the he is laying the ground work for a potential night of drunken "tada" (aka sex)

#3 or with the benefit of doubt that not all men are out for themselves, they might actually be polite and really want to be the gentleman.

i am sure that these are not the only reasons, but they all seemed like pretty good first impressions. and what is most important to remember is that i am not passing judgement on men for this traditional act in the world of dating, simple making an observation in the brief time that it takes to wait in line for the restroom.

inspired eye

i am currently working with an incredible artist that never ceases to amaze me with what he sees in the everyday world. i am honored that i have this chance to work with someone whose talent inspires me to make something beautiful and real in every image that i help create for this film.

this is a shameless plug, but i have his web site linked to my blog. please take a look if you are interested. www.zenandphotography.com

look in "lee's gallery"

his images make me look at the world around me in a more detailed, exacting way. finding breathtaking images in what most people walk by without ever looking twice.

in the dark of night

as my evenings and late evenings have been consumed with the overnight shoots in greenpoint area of new york, i have had the rare chance to see what creatures creep at the wee hours of the morning....



1 small group of 2 guys on mini bikes (those miniature speed motorcycles) used our street as a drag racing lane (7pm)


1 hassidic jewish husband and wife that sat in their car for about 1.5 hours watching us work (12:30am)


2 men that work in the feather packing facility that watch us out of the chain link fence that separates them from the outside world, but manages to let small amounts of chicken feathers float into the night air as the machine squash them into giant bundles (all night 7pm to 6am when we left)

1 man covered in tattoos that decided that one of our actors was surely a long lost friend

1 man wearing a virginia beach tshirt (maybe a little drunk) roaming the street that watched a few takes and tried to tell us what he thought went wrong (3am)

1 roam trio of skateboarders (2:30am)

1 old man complete with white beard, yankees cap and red windbreaker strolled by around 4:45am to just observe the garbage on the street.

i can't tell if being a film crew draws more attention and more people gravitate toward the lights like moths or if these are just the regular passerbys that haunt the night in search of something to see or do.

none the less, it is incredibly interesting to see what visitors happened by at every hour of the night and i thought i was a little wacky for my 5am dog walks.

still in the midst....

well i have officially survived the first week of the film and am starting the second week of night shoots....late nights, sleep all day!

as i work on this project, i have come to realize that this is what makes me happy. the process, the people, the art and i love that every day i get to work and can say that i love my job and that i am continually learning something new.

a film set is like a little section of society. everyone is different, yet we are all there for the common goal of creating this piece of "art". each one brings something to the table, each one relies on the common sense or artistic sense of the person standing next to them. we are all working for a person that we may have only met a week ago and yet the dedication to make something exacting and perfect for what most people would consider a stranger is astonishingly beautiful to me.

as i start to make my way into the rest of this project, i know that i no longer have to search for a job to make me happy, but that i need to search for a life to go with the job.

to sleep or to shower?

you know that you have had a long day at work when after sweating it out to put up one huge set, you drive home and the majority of the time you are thinking....do i go straight to sleep give up a 1/2hour of sleep to take a nice shower....

the suspense is killing you, i know it.....

never fear, a little soak in the shower won the coin toss. and i feel revived and can not believe that i am sitting in front of this computer screen instead of crawling into bed...

good night!

yes, it is almost 5am

4:31am and why might you ask that i am writing at this hour... yes my dog went out but i am also on the verge of starting to work on a big film project and will only have the wee hours of the morning to sleep or post...needless to say, this might be my last post for a few days...but please don't feel deserted...just think of all the fun thought i can bring you after a set build and film shoot......tell we meet again...soon

the history of a nut (and no i am not talking about me!)

in the line for the grocery store, i bought a tasty treat that is quite possibly the best snack ever...not chocolate, but cashews.

ever since i was a little girl, i remember going grocery shopping with my mom and she would always somehow manage to pick up a container of cashews when we entered the store and then open it to share between me, my sister and her (never fear, she did pay for the empty container at the end of the shopping trip). this was her attempt at keeping us quiet in the store and nine times out of ten it worked.

flash forward to a trip that i made to brazil about 3 years ago. again shopping at a market, i come across cashews, but this time not in a seal fresh container. hundreds of cashews sit in front of me, individual perched on the top of what looks like a pear. one little nut on top of one little fruit....something to be said for that combination

a person noticing my amusement with this discovery pointed out the obvious....this is why cashews are so expensive. you have to grow this whole fruit to get ONE cashew....amazing but true. never really thought about the price of a nut, but that would be a logical reason behind the price difference. if you can't make it to brazil to witness this phenomenon for yourself then you can visit the web site www.nutfactory.com/kitchen/facts/facts-cashew.html , a full history of the cashew (from it's brazilian roots) to an illustration of cashew apple and cashew nut and if you are jonesin' for your own cashews, i think you can order some too.

who would have thought that an innocent grab for a check out line snack could take me back to childhood and my wonderful trip to brazil and lead me on the hunt for the history of the cashew!

august 6

it happens

they knocked on my door on the sixth of august:
nobody was standing there
and nobody entered, sat down in a chair
and passed the time with me, nobody

i will never forget that absence
that entered me like a man enters his own house,
and i was satisfied with nonbeing:
an emptiness open to everything.

nobody questioned me, saying nothing,
and i answered without seeing or speaking.

such a spacious and specific interview!

-pablo neruda

this poem comes to me as i have been trying to learn more about someone i lost on august 6, 2003. what answers will come, i am not sure, but as i read this poem i think- how important it is know someone or maybe not know them?

what window shopping brought into my life

today, on the way home from a very nice lunch, my friend and i passed a new store and literally turned the car around to go and inspect what was there.....

in this little shop a jumble with trendy furniture, random kitchen wear, and strange prickly pink floral balls, is where i found something that i had been searching for...pablo neruda

and with this unexpected expedition this poem came into my life....

today, how many hours are falling
into the well, into the net, into time;
they go slowly but never stopped to rest,
they keep on falling, swarming together
at first like fish,
then like falling bottles or stones.
there below the hours come
to agree with the days,
with the months, with blurred memories,
with uninhabited nights,
clothes, women, trains, provinces,
and time collects,
hour upon hour
dissolves in silence,
crumbles and falls
into the acid of all ruins,
into the black water
of the inverted night.

as we start and finish our days it is interesting what we collect and how things blend together and how a random moment in a shop can bring enlightenment to ones life.

most people do......

as i officially move my computer(laptop) from my living room endtable to the actual desk in my bedroom, i start to set it up and really look at the bulletin board that is on my wall by my desk.

it is not the typical work oriented bulletin board, as there are no calendar, important notices but rather a collection of items that are far more personal.

a drawing of me, my friend did in 11th grade english class (13 years ago)
several drawings/ coloring book pages from my niece
a haribo gummy bears ad (a post for another time)
my very own sonnet by one of my totally great actor friends, who i think might be in virginia
a page with the vintage looking state stamps
a great graduation day picture of my very fashionable friend (bink)
an ee cummings poem
a memorial booklet from a lost loved one

and a saying that i jotted down after hearing it in a play

"intimacy is a complex thing.... you have to be careful who you shared it with...but without it, life was just breakfast, lunch, dinner and a good nights sleep....most people would settle for that, most people do...i was determined not to be most people."

from neil simon's broadway bound......

need i say more

tailgate smiling

yes, i think after i write this, you might think that i am official crazy or just in my car too often....


so driving to the city yesterday, i was minding my own business when it struck me that the backs of everyone's car looked like a face. (no i was under no illegal or legal influence) ok, i was in a lot of traffic and was forced to look at these bumpers for quite some time, but......

if you think about it
the two brake lights resemble the eyes (at night, the red and glowing eyes). if you also look at all the brakes lights there are quite a variety. some are square-ish, some are tall and thin, some are shaped with a slight slant...giving each car their own distinct personality.

depending on where the license plate is- that serves as the nose, or if there is a lock in the middle of the trunk that makes a nice nose too. of course there were a few with the spare tire on the tailgate, reminding me of those giant red nosed clowns and then there are the ones with the tires that are not exactly in the center of the tailgate, throwing the symmetry off and creating what i like to call the "picasso tailgate face" (honda crv is commonly a picasso face)

then there is the bumper area that is some times shaped in a straight line (for the more serious cars, like a saab or old honda) or some of the bumpers have an up turn on either corner that somewhat resemble a smile (laughing because their car is bigger? and eats more gas)

and crazily enough if you look at the placement of the side view mirrors on a car, you can see how someone in a traffic induced boredom could easily mistake them for ears.

all this personality might be why people, like my juneau journal pal, name their cars!

so all in all the uneventful drive made for some interesting observations and the next time you get in a car maybe you will spot a few tailgates smiling back at you....AND YES, I DO SPEND TOO MUCH TIME IN MY CAR

your being watched!

so if you know it or not, this blog tracks how many people are logging in to read and where you are all coming from.

today, to my shock and amazement...if found that i have collected some international hits...canada, brazil (rio and sao paolo), aukland new zealand, tokyo japan not to mention the random cities from across the usa...

corvallis, oregon
ashland, ky
atlanta, georgia
oneonta, ny
laconia, nh
san antonio, tx
dunedin, fl


and these are just a few....if your stopping in to read, introduce yourseld and how about passing along a little geography lesson for me and let me know more about your home town! let the lessons begin......

movie madness!

the first evening that i have planned to go to see a movie ,not in the comfort of my own home, in about 3 months. I made my way to the quaint (old) cheap ($6.50)movietheatre (theater) here in town.

upon arrival...i see a swarm of what my 9th grade science teacher would call "teenie boppers"...more britney spears wanna be's than you would ever want to see and the hormones oozzzzzziiiiinnnnngggg from their bodies.

i step in line to buy my ticket to see the much anticipated "crash" (yes, I know that it is not a dave matthews movie) to find out that the showing is going to start 10 minutes late....ok, ok....gives me time to buy popcorn

10 minutes go by, 20 minutes go by and i am happy to see the cluster of people waiting with me to see this film contains not a single "teenie bopper"...(popcorn done, drink done)

finally the doors open, we all file to our respective not too close to the screen, centered around the middle, seats and the movie is underway.....

credits roll, movie starts, don cheadle has the first great line and then......the film spirals off its reel. nothing can stop the small swell of mob like mentality rises from the "adults" that are there to enjoy an evening with other adults and a well deserved escape from the kids waiting for them at home. apparently, i wasn't the only person that had not been to the movies in months.

the frustrated faces that had been waiting for this evening collected their rain checks and went back from whence they came, hopefully to return again and let the movies help them escape for just a little while.

musical history

do you ever look at your collections of cds and think back to who brought these musicians into your life....

dave matthews band- thanks to a great guy from alabama/ georgia that i spent a few summer with in virginia

james taylor- thanks to my very own blue man friend

dinah washington- brought to my attention while working on a production of "dinah was"

kat steven- brought to my attention while working on a production of "betrayal".....thanks to ms. juneau journal

all my classical music collection- thanks to one of the greatest professors of all time, john conklin

brazilian music- thanks to my wonderful brazilian friend (that i miss dearly and can't wait to visit)

i guess in the end, no matter who brings it into your life, music always make life richer.

so bring it on....if you have any suggestions.....click that comment button and share the wealth.

put this in your eye!

as i sat in the optometrist office having drops put in my eyes, lights flashed at my cornea and telling him whether the first or second image was clearer on the eye chart...this popped into my mind....

who in the world was the first person to put in a contact lens? some comes up to you and says, "Here, put this piece of plastic in your eye." Who would want to say yes to that!

To get the complete history of the contact lens, you can actually visit the website www.contactlenscouncil.org and see an entire historical account, however it does not name the first brave soul to actually sick it in their eye.

For the inquiring minds, i thought some of this contact trivia would be of interest:

1508- Leonardo da Vinci (did he invent everything?) actually had sketches and descriptions of contact lenses

1929- Dallos, a hungarian physician figured out how to make molds of the eye (yuck!) to be able to fit a contact lens perfectly on the eye

1936- 1st american produced plastic contact lens

1971- Soft contact lenses take america by storm....can you believe it was that long ago, before i was born!

these are just a few interesting things to note. like i said check out the website to get the full history...truly eye popping (ha ha)

in the end, there is someone out there that was the first guinea pig (hopefully not literally) to try on a contact lens. to you i say thank you for having the courage to say yes to something that i still today am hesitant to attempt on a daily basis

garage sale memories

do you ever notice how much stuff you have accumulated over the years?

i have recently started to go through all my "stuff" to get things together for a garage sale. i look a things in my house and realize there are things that i never use.

GARAGE SALE ITEM #1
there is a coffee pot that sits in my kitchen, bought for the sole purpose of having coffee when my mom visits my house (has only happened once since i moved to ny because i would much rather visit her in florida)

GARAGE SALE ITEMS #2-10 (8 purses that i am selling and there are 10 that i am not ;)
i know i am a girl because i have more purses than i know what to do with! and better yet, i don't use half of them. in pulling these out for the sale, i found matching wallets inside a few too! (sadly no hidden money in them)
hopefully they will all make a happy home at some other girls house or guys house for that matter!

GARAGE SALE ITEM #11
some weird wire kitchen contraption that is for washing fruit or something like that. i never use it but think it looks cool on display in my kitchen....well no more room for keeping "cool" items that are too confusing to figure out.

there are some many more of these that i could list forever. but as i go through things in my house i am happily finding the memories that go with all these things. like the cigar box purse that reminds me of my very fashionable friend that gave it too me (not in the garage sale), remembering the christmas morning that my mom and niece were visiting my NY apartment and used the coffee maker. (this was the same morning that my cutie niece knocked over the christmas tree- i think she is still haunted by that). and the former roommate that brought the weird wire thing into my life.

i guess you never know what memories you will be picking up at the next garage sale.