do you ever really listen to yourself talk?

today i was having a quite harmless conversation with my friend that i am visiting and we started talking about relationships. and the more i talked about my lack there of, the more i realized that i have talked myself out of looking for relationships.

there are several reasons why, i guess, but i guess the real question is not why have i talked myself out of relationships, but HOW do i talk myself back into being available to be in one. i can always find a reason not to date someone, that is the easy thing to do.

i guess i am just not really ready to release the control that i have over my life when i am just dealing with myself. by adding one more person into the equations, it inevitable makes a situation for compromise.

the promising comment that finished the discussion with my friend was, "at some point, there is that mystical thing called love and you realize that you will do anything, even compromise!"

well here's to the future and the hopes that the mystical thing called love makes it way into my life and my "compromising" skills can be honed.